So according to surgical records I’m recovering from a Left ankle arthroscopy & debridement + talor ostetomy + subtalar joint arthotomy & washout.

All I know is as this week comes to an end I’m trashed, mentally, physically and emotionally.

I had a lot of anxiety leading up to surgery, by general standards even after loosing 26kg I’m still morbidly obese, however because I’m under 150kg I made my life for surgery a lot easier. Patience of 150kg or more present quite a few problems.

I was worried about not waking up and not coping afterwards, I’m in new territory and there is only so much planning you can do to prepare yourself. Loosing a day before surgery was hard. Even though I had spent weeks focused on this date I still put off in my mind the realization of what lay ahead. Ultimately I’m still not coping with the fact that I have injured myself as part of getting my life back (improvement in diet and exercise)

Right now as I run at the maximum daily doses of all pain killers I’m able to take I feel particularly low.

I’m told my surgery went well and I’ve had a rather large bone fragment remove from my ankle. I know something has changed as I have different pain awareness.

The first 48 hours post OP were weird, I was lucky that I woke up easily and without complication and despite feeling incredibly nauseated and drowsy I felt fairly comfortable.

One of the modern ways of treatment for surgery is a “nerve block” essentially they inject local anesthesia in the effected area to reduce pain and promote healing.

For me the result was very strange, the general knocked me around mentally but thankfully I didn’t have many side effects. I take my hat of to the surgical team as they managed my list of questions and anxiety well.

With the nerve block it lasted almost a full 48 hours, which was nice. It presented its own problems as I had no feeling or sensation or movement in my foot for that period.

What did initially worry me was when I woke up I was able to “wiggle my toes” later in the night I couldn’t. As I was day surgery I called the the hospital for advise and they got me to check that I still had warmth on my foot, which I did so all was well.

I organized a couple of home visits while the nerve block was still in place as I knew I would struggle once that wore off.

The level of pain I’m in right now I would still describe as chronic, but it is different to what I’ve endured the past four months.

The past week has been a very difficult time emotionally as I can not begin to describe what  sustained chronic pain does to a person.

It was nice to get the feeling and movement back in my foot but now I have to be very careful with my foot as if I don’t rest, elevate and ice the ankle enough I make the pain all that much worse.

I hadn’t realized until last night how swollen and bruised my ankle is, where I compare it to pre op photos and to my good ankle it’s a little scarey.

I’ve had it reviewed and there is nothing to worry about it will just take time.

I’m moving a lot slower than I had hoped, but I’m finally started to accept better where I’m at and it’s still early days. I still struggle to rest properly and I look forward to returning to work and every other “normal” day to day activities soon. What I have found over the past week is that I have to listen and follow the medical advise I’m given.

Strangely enough in this situation, they know best and I have to get over myself and trust them.

I’m not dealing with the frustration I have about this whole situation all that well. It is something that will take me time to overcome.

I had hoped to be cleared to return to seated personal training this week. But a visit with my Physio really did help me re-focus on resting and recovery.

While it might be nice to think about getting the blood flowing and the heart rate up, right now my body needs to recover from the trauma of surgery. Stressing the body is not the way to go!

I had an hour long consult with my Physio today and for once all the jokes she made were far worse than mine. My Physio knows me quite well and could see that I am focused on the job at hand but needed some help to focus my attention to the detail that will literally see me back on my feet.

It was a great hour long consult, I still can’t work out where the time goes.

One of the things that helps both of us in these consults is I’m hyper organised. I will always have a list of what I want to cover and I have copies of reports and scans which helps.

Tonight my pain isn’t any less, I’m just getting better at managing it, when they tell you to take pain relief at regular intervals not just when your in pain, for the short term do it. I’ve tried to “brave it out” and that was just dumb.

You really do need to have confidence in yourself, which I’m started to get back and it’s amazing what you can achieve when you do.

I’ve got a new exercise to add to my home exercise program and I’ve now started some fish oil capsules. I’m hoping the fish oil can help my recovery and undo some of the bad that is being done by some of the other meds I’m taking.

My poor old body apart from dealing with surgery it’s taking a massive hit with medication.

Thankfully the house is well stocked with food and I’m not doing too badly on the healthy eating regimen.

I have a lot more I’d like to post about but I don’t have the energy right now.

This should give you a good update of my progress so far, slowly does it in so many ways right now.