So around late February my Physio says to me we’re at the point where I need crutches.
I wasn’t going too well getting around, and the way I was limping was causing other problems to my body.
Well we’re now at the point where I’m pushing hard to get rid of crutches and again the issue of tertiary load has reared its ugly and unwelcome head.
This is going to be one of those rare posts where I do express my concern about the path forward.
I’m scared of falling; I’ve come close a few times but have managed to avoid it. One of the most difficult situations I have found myself is when I get “stuck” and unable to move. I had a situation a few months ago at work when I got up without crutches and I froze and had to get someone to pass me my crutches.
I guess part of my apprehension now is I can accept being on crutches but a walking stick to me isn’t a step forward. I’ve fought long and hard to get better and to be told now that I can’t drop to one crutch or get off them entirely but I have to move to walking stick/s is going to be a big sales pitch to myself.
I’m angry at myself for ignoring the warning signs of pain my body was giving me and I’m sadden that I’ve been off work so long.
So I’m due to be at work in a week and I have to improve even more from where I am now. So unless I want to be stuck on crutches I have to move forward and if it’s to again swallow a bit of pride then I will and must take this course of action.
I keep writing about the frustration of the slowness of rehab, one of the things I have held back writing about is the anger in my ability to do the most simple things.
On Friday I started working with my Physio to get me off crutches. To begin with you have to have a gait analysis done. This is done to determine not only how I walk but how I load various parts of my body up but also access just how well I’m able to weight bare on the injured limb.
Well on the Friday I sucked at it. I did it on a wooden floor in socks and I felt so outside my comfort zone I didn’t cope.
I came away from the session annoyed and upset.
I returned the next morning and asked if I could repeat the process but bare foot. Hygiene normally dictates that socks are preferable but in my case we went bare foot. This worked much better.
I still needed spotting but I was able to mobilise much better and with the crutches I was able to change my partial weight bearing technique from “Step To” to “Step Through” in itself a major achievement.
So I’m now resigned to the fact that I’m going to have to obtain a couple of walking sticks. I’ve been lent a couple but none are a matching pair.
I’m going to have to see if I can borrow or worse case hire a set. I’m a fighter and if I have to walk with sticks so be it.
I’m sick of people having to make allowances for me; I just want my life, health and fitness back. So time to swallow a little more pride, do as I’m told and eventually reap the rewards!