I’ve always wanted to focus on here and now and the future and not the past.
It’s for this reason I chose not to announce to the world that the 15th of November 2012 marked 6 months since ankle surgery. While I celebrate my “focused stubbornness” has brought me through to recovery.
For one reason or another I’ve had to cling onto somethings that tied me looking at the past. While sometimes this can be helpful for me it really isn’t.
The physical and mental scares of this year is something I have an continue to seek support in working through.
As a friend put I’ve had “an interesting year in the proverbial sense”
As another year starts to come to a end, it’s natural to reflect on the year that was.
For me it feels like a big negative, however being slightly more kind to myself having a literally crippling injury, mis-diagnosed treatment then delayed surgical intervention meant that I was always going to be a slow mover to recovery.
The frustration that caused I can’t begin to explain and quite frankly I don’t want to go back there. I’m focused on the positives, that I’m pain free, I believe I have full movement and in the past week I’ve been able to do short bursts of jogging/running.
Getting back onto the push bike and walking away totally chuffed at managing an easy first time 10KM ride, half of which was in a strong headwind, yet another important personal achievment. Something I did quite selfishly for myself.
My determination to not give in and continue to fight was evident as I only took one week off from personal training post op. It’s become evident from many people that I’m an amazingly passionate and committed individual and it seems I’ve helped motivate others along the way.
One thing I was ill prepared for was the challenges this experience brought. You don’t go through something like this without it being life changing. The personal growth I’ve gone through this year is a true testament and test of my character.
So while thinking about the what was can be nice, I’m more interested in planning and embracing tomorrow.
I’ve come this far, looking forward to what’s a head.