Sunday afternoons is always pool time. I head with my father to the SA aquatic and leisure centre.

Worried about a cold pool in winter? Dont 😉

This afternoon I was really lucky to have Emma my second personal trainer come and visit and train with me this afternoon.

Emma tells me it’s all about me, it’s not about her. I disagree, while I know to a certain extent what I can and can’t do, Emma has a unique way of pushing me well beyond my normal limits.

When I work out, music is really important to me. So before today’s training session I created a new playlist.

I’m happy to report that it worked far better than I imagined, I don’t think I give myself enough credit for my music abilities, when it comes to playlists.

It might help that Emma loves many of the music I do.

Also knowing the general flow of our workouts I can generally get the BPM set out in such a way it flows really well.

Having a great trainer, reasonable location (my garage) and the right tunes all helps.

I’ve had a bit of a further set back this week, I’m not clear to return full-time for work, which is annoying to all concerned.

Out of all of this, I’m just making sure that everything I do is supportive and focused on my return to work, because that’s really important to me.

I know Team Pilko and I can do it, it’s just a matter of time.

I’m going to be really interested in how I pull up, did more endurance than strength training today and that’s going to be interesting.

Now comes my time to relax, time to head to Next Gen for a spa.

So tonight it was time to try something different.

I’ve been back in the pool for some weeks now but I’ve missed the group exercise dynamic and I wanted a bit of a challenge. That and my Physio is a little worried about me injuring myself.

So what better way that to do a Hydro (pool) based class in deep water! How deep? 3M deep to be exact!

You front up and get given a buoyancy belt and then it’s time to get into the pool.

OK so I probably should have thought more about this, how do I get into the pool, when I can’t touch the bottom and I’m wearing glasses!

I did my usual trick, legs over the edge and slide in right? WRONG!

I lowed myself down and plunged straight into the pool above my head! So any plan to keep my glasses out of the water were gone. Rather than freak out, just went with the flow and laughed at myself.

Next time use the ladder and edge!

Class started and it was an instant winner. The buoyancy belt is amazing, your can float!

I was initially worried that I’d still be too large for it, but it turns out there was some slack in it.

Was great to be supported in the water and be able to get around.

Gave both my upper and lower body a awesome workout. Was able to do quite a few things I wouldn’t dream of trying on land.

I can’t begin to explain just how amazing it is to be in the pool, exercising, particularly my lower limbs knowing that it’s a safe way to exercise!

For probably the first time in months I’ve been able to get the legs working and I’m really excited about re-gaining fitness and strength.

Looking forward to Tuesday night next week to try it all over again 🙂

Man may not maketh the clothes, but it does feel great to look good.

I’ve struggled over the past few years to look smart. It comes as being larger than most.

Until recently I had to always buy from the “big mans” type stores, over the past few months I’ve had the joy of being able to buy “normal” however there are still many exceptions.

While I’m not going to turn eyes as I walk around, at least I generally give a damn about my appearance.

The past week has seen me need to adhere to the work dress code and one slight sticking point if the wearing of neck ties for men.

Now I have a slight obsessions with neck ties I must admit, as a man you don’t always get to show individualism with a limited dress code.

Now I’ve tried avoiding wearing neck ties, as most of my shirts don’t fit well and I’m not prepared to fork out for shirts that will only last a few months.

That said this past week I’ve been careful with my shirt selection and have worn a neck tie and it’s amazing the compliments I’ve had. I’d forgotten how much a number of people appreciate my tie collection. While I have just over 30 there is a guy at work who has over a hundred. Even at 30, I believe quality over quantity, that said if your ever stuck on buying a gift for me a well placed vibrant tie is a winner.

The problem I have is I dislike buying cheap clothes, they are generally of poor quality, look terrible and feel and ware terrible. When I went back to wearing proper business shirts some years back I bought up on Harris Scafe $12 shirts, talk about pea shooter material. Now I try to always buy quality 100% cotton shirts. All my shirts have and will always be dry cleaned only. They also come at considerably higher cost. Thankfully we have the likes of Gloweave who are forever having sales and their outlet store at DFO Southwarth is now a favorite.

Prior to surgery I had to give in and be practicable and buy some new track suit bottoms. The ones I’ve worn previously are way too big. The ones I bought from Kmart cost all around $10 and the quality isn’t really there. The first few times I washed them I didn’t dare mix them with anything else as they linted everywhere.

Sadly due to a bit too much comfort eating and some other poor dietary choices I can still fit into them some months later.

Even though we are only early in the winter season I will have to hedge some bets and buy smaller trackies as when they go out of season they will be hard to source.

That said, I already have a pair of quality that I can’t fit into and that is  goal of mine.

Part of my determination is to be able to again re-build my wardrobe with quality clothing that looks good, feels good and affords me that sense of achievement which is currently seen as a weight reduction in 26kgs and a thinning around the waist of 16cm.

Caught up with my dietician during the past week and while 26kg down is a good effort, I sitill need to tip the scales below 100kg. The original aim was to do this by years end, but I fear that this goal will slip.

Despite two Pilates classes and 1 to 2 hour long PT sessions a week it’s not really enough to motivate me with my diet.

To loose weight you really have to be spot on with your diet. I’ve been there before and I know I can do it, I just have to find it in me. Right now I’m quite negative towards myself as I’m a hard task master. Right now all I want is the pain and discomfort from my ankle to largely bugger off.

During the past week my personal trainer Sean congratulated me for being so focused on my exercise, but for me until I can get exercising near 100% it will cause my diet to slip. It might sound a cop out, but i’ve always found exercise helps diet.

I have a second PT Emma who has forced me to re-evaluate  my pre work out diet. Emma pushes me far harder than anyone else. This is a special permission I give her as she is one of the few people I trust so much. A mix up in diet prior to training can have such an impact on your endurance.

It’s through her I’ve be reminded and rediscovered what I’m capable of. For someone who’s having massive confidence issues I can’t begin to explain how amazing that is.

For various reasons we trained two weeks straight, then with three off. All going well I can return to train with her next weekend and that should be totally amazing.

Looking forward to the week ahead and challenges it has, what ever they are.

Pilko is taking the weekend off, I’ve had a intermedial cortisone injection deep into my ankle.

Thankfully the pain of the injection only lasted a few minutes, but it was some of the most intense pain I’ve experienced.

Time will tell if it’s made things better, worse or no change.

I’ve cancelled all weekend appointments and will probably spend the entire weekend at home.

Sometimes in life going forwards means going back too.

So today was kinda a weird day at work. Today was the first day of week 4 back at work. I’ve had a graded return to work because for the past 3 weeks around 95% of the staff have been away and starting last week I’m working half days.

Now I’m all to aware that when you go through something like I am (particularly atm with an acute ankle injury) you don’t do this alone.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the reaction I got from people seeing me today.

Over the past few months, people have seen me go from a fitness improving person.

To:-

•  walking with a limp
• walking with a very pronounced limp
• on crutches
• on crutches and with a moon boot

Today while still waking with an ever increasing limp again the crutches are gone, I’m more alert and there is my trademark smile.

The impact from many has been remarkable, everything from “bloody great to see you on your feet” to a couple of hugs.

I don’t hug much but it really is quite validating, hugging to me is a fairly personal thing, there are some close friends I hug, however most times I keep my distance.

Why do I keep my distance? It’s a self protective thing. It got me thinking, what am I protecting myself from?

I’ve just did a Youtube search for the original “free hugs” video, it was posted nearly 6 years ago and has had almost 73 million views.

So I ask the question what have we learn in that 6 years and what are we doing as individuals?

Please watch the video below, I think we’ve got caught up with our “busy busy busy” lifestyle and have forgotten some of the most basic interactions in life.

Watch the video full length, it’s quite amazing the reactions the camera has recorded. However just as important, listen the the lyrics, powerful stuff!

Now lets not get carried away and go hug everyone, but put yourself out there a bit more. I know I plan to.

So I’m reminded by the words from the Divinyls song “Pleasure And Pain”

“it’s a fine line between pleasure and pain”

The past week has seen me up the anti a bit, I’m on stronger pain killers and after consulting my surgeon I’m headed for a cortisone (steroid) injection into my foot.

Past couple of days have been really good days, caught up with friends and had a couple of great outings.

Awesome checkin with my Physio today and stunning massage in the Barossa this afternoon.

While I’m on a little high from the success of the past few days I know I can aggravate my ankle quite easily. So while I’m not a defeatist by any means, I need to work within my limits. So it’s time to put my feet up and rest 🙂

As humans we long to belong, we pay good money to wear brand name “designer labels”

Yet as individuals we fight to stand out of the crowd.

I’ve been doing a lot of internal reflection about who I am and what I value and the answers to some of those questions has surprised me.

All I know is that through this experience of the past few months has genuinely changed me.

This isn’t easy to deal with, but the end result will be a better rounded person and clarified to a certain extend who I am and what I’m doing.

Part of the catalyst behind this was a long period of uncertainty. I had no idea of the path forward and more importantly what lay ahead.

Now you need surprises in life, some good some bad, so it’s impossible to manage the future (said with a perfectionist hat on) however you do need some guidance.

For a while there I kind of lost perspective, became overwhelmed and the outlook ahead looked bleak.

Part of who I am, is what I do and in the past few months I’ve not been able to do that, so internally I wasn’t too sure “what this is?!”

My message to you is, be yourself, sure there are some conventions you have to follow, but be true to yourself and to others.

It’s amazing what can be discovered when you scratch the surface of the real you 🙂

So a friend of mine says that “positive thinking” seems to work for me in relation to this “diet and exercise thing”

Well I have to be up front and say it’s not always like that.

The past week has been a bit of turmoil in old pilko land.

Pain in the ankle has flared up again and I’ve had to change my pain management to deal with this.

As a result I’ve had to go part-time or .5 is the official term. So rather than work a 7.5 hour day I’m now working 4.

While it is annoying to myself I also feel for the team i work with. It’s good in that I’m in for a good block of time and can achieve a fair bit but even after day 3 I’m still a little frustrated that I’ve had to take a step back.

A lot has happened in the past week and I have been trying to find a way to share it with people.

This blog is not restricted in who can see it, so anything here is public, something I’m mindful of.

So last week I finished up with the Corporate Health Group’s rehab pool and have continued on my own at the SA Aquatic and Leisure Centre.

I was ready to move on from CHG, while the facilities are good they really are focused on workcover and third party patients, plus they are only open 8am – 5pm which is a direct clash of my normal work hours.

While I’m now part-time for about 3 weeks I could have potentially returned but I’ve signed up for membership at SA Aquatic and I’d prefer to train / do hydro there.

As hard for me set backs are there are quite a few positives that have come out of this whole mess.

It’s brought my family together (especially now my eldest sister has now also injured her foot)

I’ve met a new Physio who has been great (I’ve also met another great Physio along the way too)

I’ve learnt more about my body and how it works.

It’s given me a better appreciation for some of the daily issues my Father has to work with.

It’s forced me to take a back seat and re-evaluate what I value in life.

Probably the hardest thing for me apart from the self doubt over my abilities (what I can and can’t do) is the amount of personal growth I’ve gone through these past few months.

I’m not done yet, but it’s been quit the ride.

This afternoon I’m about to head down for a nap, so I’ve got a bit more energy to give in a PT session.

My PT Emma who I train with on Saturday was away this past weekend, really did miss it. It’s amazing what a good hard training session can do for ones mental and physical well being.