Pilko is taking the weekend off, I’ve had a intermedial cortisone injection deep into my ankle.

Thankfully the pain of the injection only lasted a few minutes, but it was some of the most intense pain I’ve experienced.

Time will tell if it’s made things better, worse or no change.

I’ve cancelled all weekend appointments and will probably spend the entire weekend at home.

Sometimes in life going forwards means going back too.

So today was kinda a weird day at work. Today was the first day of week 4 back at work. I’ve had a graded return to work because for the past 3 weeks around 95% of the staff have been away and starting last week I’m working half days.

Now I’m all to aware that when you go through something like I am (particularly atm with an acute ankle injury) you don’t do this alone.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the reaction I got from people seeing me today.

Over the past few months, people have seen me go from a fitness improving person.

To:-

•  walking with a limp
• walking with a very pronounced limp
• on crutches
• on crutches and with a moon boot

Today while still waking with an ever increasing limp again the crutches are gone, I’m more alert and there is my trademark smile.

The impact from many has been remarkable, everything from “bloody great to see you on your feet” to a couple of hugs.

I don’t hug much but it really is quite validating, hugging to me is a fairly personal thing, there are some close friends I hug, however most times I keep my distance.

Why do I keep my distance? It’s a self protective thing. It got me thinking, what am I protecting myself from?

I’ve just did a Youtube search for the original “free hugs” video, it was posted nearly 6 years ago and has had almost 73 million views.

So I ask the question what have we learn in that 6 years and what are we doing as individuals?

Please watch the video below, I think we’ve got caught up with our “busy busy busy” lifestyle and have forgotten some of the most basic interactions in life.

Watch the video full length, it’s quite amazing the reactions the camera has recorded. However just as important, listen the the lyrics, powerful stuff!

Now lets not get carried away and go hug everyone, but put yourself out there a bit more. I know I plan to.

So I’m reminded by the words from the Divinyls song “Pleasure And Pain”

“it’s a fine line between pleasure and pain”

The past week has seen me up the anti a bit, I’m on stronger pain killers and after consulting my surgeon I’m headed for a cortisone (steroid) injection into my foot.

Past couple of days have been really good days, caught up with friends and had a couple of great outings.

Awesome checkin with my Physio today and stunning massage in the Barossa this afternoon.

While I’m on a little high from the success of the past few days I know I can aggravate my ankle quite easily. So while I’m not a defeatist by any means, I need to work within my limits. So it’s time to put my feet up and rest 🙂

As humans we long to belong, we pay good money to wear brand name “designer labels”

Yet as individuals we fight to stand out of the crowd.

I’ve been doing a lot of internal reflection about who I am and what I value and the answers to some of those questions has surprised me.

All I know is that through this experience of the past few months has genuinely changed me.

This isn’t easy to deal with, but the end result will be a better rounded person and clarified to a certain extend who I am and what I’m doing.

Part of the catalyst behind this was a long period of uncertainty. I had no idea of the path forward and more importantly what lay ahead.

Now you need surprises in life, some good some bad, so it’s impossible to manage the future (said with a perfectionist hat on) however you do need some guidance.

For a while there I kind of lost perspective, became overwhelmed and the outlook ahead looked bleak.

Part of who I am, is what I do and in the past few months I’ve not been able to do that, so internally I wasn’t too sure “what this is?!”

My message to you is, be yourself, sure there are some conventions you have to follow, but be true to yourself and to others.

It’s amazing what can be discovered when you scratch the surface of the real you 🙂

So a friend of mine says that “positive thinking” seems to work for me in relation to this “diet and exercise thing”

Well I have to be up front and say it’s not always like that.

The past week has been a bit of turmoil in old pilko land.

Pain in the ankle has flared up again and I’ve had to change my pain management to deal with this.

As a result I’ve had to go part-time or .5 is the official term. So rather than work a 7.5 hour day I’m now working 4.

While it is annoying to myself I also feel for the team i work with. It’s good in that I’m in for a good block of time and can achieve a fair bit but even after day 3 I’m still a little frustrated that I’ve had to take a step back.

A lot has happened in the past week and I have been trying to find a way to share it with people.

This blog is not restricted in who can see it, so anything here is public, something I’m mindful of.

So last week I finished up with the Corporate Health Group’s rehab pool and have continued on my own at the SA Aquatic and Leisure Centre.

I was ready to move on from CHG, while the facilities are good they really are focused on workcover and third party patients, plus they are only open 8am – 5pm which is a direct clash of my normal work hours.

While I’m now part-time for about 3 weeks I could have potentially returned but I’ve signed up for membership at SA Aquatic and I’d prefer to train / do hydro there.

As hard for me set backs are there are quite a few positives that have come out of this whole mess.

It’s brought my family together (especially now my eldest sister has now also injured her foot)

I’ve met a new Physio who has been great (I’ve also met another great Physio along the way too)

I’ve learnt more about my body and how it works.

It’s given me a better appreciation for some of the daily issues my Father has to work with.

It’s forced me to take a back seat and re-evaluate what I value in life.

Probably the hardest thing for me apart from the self doubt over my abilities (what I can and can’t do) is the amount of personal growth I’ve gone through these past few months.

I’m not done yet, but it’s been quit the ride.

This afternoon I’m about to head down for a nap, so I’ve got a bit more energy to give in a PT session.

My PT Emma who I train with on Saturday was away this past weekend, really did miss it. It’s amazing what a good hard training session can do for ones mental and physical well being.

This morning was my second to last rehab hydro session with CHG.

Was a great session and the supervising Physio was a great help.

I’ve gone from virtually being unable to walk (using crutches to get around) when I first started to comfortably walking now.

My Hydro rehab program was really hard to do to begin with, now every time we have to make it harder.

There are far too many people that know me as “oh yeah Pilko, that guy on crutches” and I’m slowly but surely turning that around.

I got a copy of a functional assessment I did in early June and out of a possible score of 80 I scored 9. The assessment makes your rate your ability as “Extreme difficulty or unable to perform activity,  quite a bit of difficulty, moderate difficulty, a little bit of difficulty or no difficulty” with a weighting of 0 to 4. At the time most of my answers weighted at 0 or 1 with only 2 “2s”

I’m yet to sit down and re-take it, but I’ve come along away in what is a month.

What really was cool today and it’s never lost on me is the reaction to people who know where I’ve come from it really is the “wow” factor.

As I said to someone today, I’m not running yet, but my injury basically crippled me and while I’ve still got a lot of hard work ahead, it’s so satisfying to know I’ve made solid progress.

While the CHG sessions have been good, I associate the place with post op rehab and I’m ready to move on. It’s also impacting on my work as I have to start late at work and make up time.

So now I’ve got my SA Aquatic membership I can continue my Hydro Program myself unassisted.

I’m having quite a lot of pain and fun when it comes to PT.

In true Pilko style I actually use 3 PTs.

Sean, Emma & Georgia.

Sean has been me with the start, Emma a previous group fitness instructor and Georgia a recent addition.

Each person is a dedicated, passionate person. I won’t tell you one is better than the other, I’ll simply say they have their own strengths and I pool on that.

One really interesting challenge is when I train with Emma it’s in my garage which is transformed into an exercise space for an hour a week.

This is a really unique opportunity as there are no distractions from anywhere else, it’s a very controlled environment and I get to pick the playlist.

Because I’m free to be myself and I’m not self conscious I’m free to explore my abilities in the comfort that the worst that can happen  is I get laughed at.

It’s also quite interesting as I don’t have a lot of equipment and it’s a intense focused session.

There is no where to run, no where to hide, it’s pedal to the medal from the get go.

I’ve never worked so hard, nor been so sore afterwards, the crazy thing is the more I hurt the more I want to push and do it all over again.

I remarked to Emma when I trained with her this past Saturday that last week when she told me she was on her way I smiled thinking it would be great to catch up with her.

This day was different, I had some idea of what was coming and I had to prepare myself for it.

When it comes down to it, really it’s all about yourself and your abilities. The trainer is a professional and knows how to motivate and push people safely.

I’ve pushed myself and been pushed well beyond my comfort zone, the difference is it’s in supported environment which is key. A trainer will look at what your doing and correct your technique. It’s often said “practice makes perfect” well if you practice the wrong thing many times you won’t get perfection! With the human body you only have to alter an exercise just a little to active an entirely different set of muscles.

As I’ve been recovering from surgery and related injures correct technique has been critical. It’s amazing how just a small change in the exercise can make a big difference.

This isn’t easy, it’s confronting, I’ve been pushed to the point of exhaustion and it’s having that support process in place to cope with both the adrenaline rush and the inevitable down time post work out.

So Saturday just gone I trained with Emma, today was with Sean and with Emma away this week Georgia gets to push me this coming Saturday.

Thankfully it’s an earlier Saturday session, so I’ll have longer to recover, I’m going to need it!

So this past Monday saw me make my long awaiting return to work.

I was quite nervous about retuning as due to the way my injury was managed I was in and out of work a lot and quite unreliable.

I was keen to make sure this didn’t happen post surgery. My return to work was delayed until the holidays so the place was quieter than normal

So it would make my return that bit easier and I belive that was a great stroke of genius.

I was so keen to return to work I woke around 4:30am so by the time work ended around 4pm I was so tired. Ankle is still thoobing a bit, but that’s largly due to it doesn’t cope getting cold and with me sitting for long periods.

The key will really be a good mix of staying off the ankle but also moving it too.

Sort of felt like I started a new job, although I knew everyone.

That feeling changed as the week went on and I felt more comfortable at work.

Managed to fit in two Pilates mat classes this week  which was great.

Still hurting from the PT session with Emma on the weekend I opted to do a Pilates class on the Tuesday rather than  PT session.

I’ve just done a 1hr PT session with Emma today and I’ll be interested to see how I pull up.

I have a massage booked with Amy on Monday and I’m hoping she can get stuck in and release some of my soon to be sore muscles

So I can train with Sean on Tuesday.

Work have been very understanding and how allowed me to continue two pool session a week on the understanding that the time taken off is made up which is of course perfectly fair.

That agreement finishes next week as my third week is to be a “as normal” approach. I’ve chosen to do 8am starts, even though with the school holidays I could start at 8:30am. With an 8am start the roads are easier to get around and I’m building up routine.

The 6 weeks post-surgery haven’t been easy, so I gave myself a free pass to do virtually whatever I needed, when I needed.

The problem with that is there was little routine.

So my plain with the routine building has gone well so far, while I’m still having some issue with sleep it normally only lasts a night which is great.

So still early days with the return to work, but it’s on track and this week would be the first full week at work since before Easter which is a major achievement in itself.

Finished the week off with 1hr PT with Emma which was great. Emma tells me that the results of the sessions are always and only me. It’s the adage of you get what you give.

Working with the right people helps.

Tomorrow I have a afternoon tea to celebrate my mum’s birthday and then it’s time to sign up to SA Aquatic and take my dad in for our pool session.

Oh yeah and time to get a haircut,  badly need one.

I’ve neglected my blog as I’ve had a busy week, so the weekend is a chance for me to fire up some updates.

Last Sunday afternoon I headed with my Father to the SA Aquatic and Leisure Centre.

It’s the premier aquatic centre in Adelaide and my tour showed me why.

The program pool is a 25M warm pool of around 28 degrees.

I’ve been trying to find a way to get my father back in the water and I think this maybe the way to go.

So when I announced that the program pool had a full length ramp he was keen to join in.

We headed in and apart from lots of kids it was a great experience.

It’s nice to see so many young families taking advantage  of such a great facility.

Apart from the locks on the disabled change room doors and the slightly slippery flooring, they really do cater well for people.

I knew when I first visited the centre that I would join up as a member.

I’m going to have to visit about twice a week to break even on the membership and I do believe that is something that will be easily done.

I’m going to afford myself two gym memberships, so I will maintain the next gen membership as well and I’m likely to get access to the gym at work also.

So it’s likely I’ve have access to three places for fitness which is excessive but just that bit awesome too.